Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Turbulence even before you fly!

Domestic air travel has become more turbulent with customers now having to flash a photocopy of the credit card used to buy the ticket at the check-in counter, failing which fliers have in recent times found their wings clipped. Credit card con men have been given a shot in the arm since all they need is the credit card, no secret pin or password. If scams are popping up all over, credit card security could be slightly improved, but instead customers have to carry photocopies of their credit cards as well.

While flying once, I lost the all-important credit card photocopy. On landing, an SMS told me I used Rs 2 lakh from my card in the last one hour, ‘thanks for using our bank.’ I now fly with a Rs 4 lakh worth finger-print analyser, retina scanner, DNA tester security folder (available in gloss and suede), in which I securely keep the credit card photocopy.

It started with the E-Ticket. Book it online, take a photocopy, memorize the PIN number of the booking and of course, photo identification. Now, all airlines advise passengers in bold and italics to carry valid photo identification. I guess that means I can’t use my Wimbledon Club Card to get on board the plane, I might lob a few tennis balls in the cabin, thus a security hazard. So In my case I use a driver’s license, which was made 15 years ago. The card and I have become older though.

Check-in counter lady: “Sir, who is this in the photograph? We ask for valid photo id.”

Me: “But that is me albeit 15 years ago and no regional transport office would like to work hard to update my photograph.”

“You could be impersonating the customer and a threat to flight security.”

“But I’m eighty years old and need two assistants to help me to the bathroom.”

“You could have sleeping gas in your ventilator, maybe even Sarin nerve gas. Security get this man out of here.”

“No No…I have an appointment with my heart surgeon and my 18-year-old wife waits for me…”

Soon airports might become a nation’s security hub.

At the kennel: “Oh you bought a Doberman you say, have you registered it with the airport’s special dog cell?

At the octroi: “Ah! Are you transporting thirty tonnes of fertilizer? It could be used to make a bomb. Get it scanned at the Airport secure manure department.”

At the toy store: “Hey you with the baby rattle! Take that contraption to the Airport’s hidden-in-what-you-least-expected division and get it registered.”

Happy flying.

Friday, June 16, 2006

I used to trust the media, now its just humbug


Media, the mere word conjures up images of infallible "truth", highest models of "virtue", unending pursuit of justice, voice of the common.........SHUT UP. What utter tripe. The media was, I repeat was, enough to make the most notorious criminals run or make the most famous personality flash that irresistable smile and say "there should be world peace." The media was started to inform people, the media made the world a smaller place, the media empowerd people to extents they could not handle. In doing so, the power of the media increased by leaps and bounds, most media houses are speaking trumpets for some political party or the other..or are interested only in money.
..... and now sadly, there is no check...(can there even be a check).
(Please pardon the grammatically incorrect Hindi...those of you who know the langauge...will get what im trying to say)
Kahan gaye woh din, jab sirf ek report se awareness spread hote the.
Kahan gaye woh din, jab har subah, akhbar mein log padthe the, aur kush hote the.
"Es aadmi ne dus logon ko bhuk mari se bachaya."
"Es aadmi ne paatshala ke liye teen karode diya."
"Yeh auraat ne ek free maternal clinic khol diya, gareebon ke liye."

Ab aaye hain din, jab har report ek he tarah hote hain,
Ab akhbar padte hain aur naraaz hote hain,
"salla yeh mussalman logon yeh sab kar rehhain hain."
Ab maar peet ke reporten padkar, logon thak gaye hain.
"Es actor aur us actress ke beech mein kuch ho rahan hain."
"Es jagah pe kal char "atankvaadi" ne bomb detonate kiya."
"Us jagah pe kal teen "aatankvadi" ne AK 47 se dus logon ko maar diya."
"Us actress ne yeh actor ko talak diya. (or vice-versa)".
Read the above four lines anout 6 to 7 times...and thats the news.
The same bloody thing over and over and over again my friend,
ah you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction. (by Barry Mcgwire)


THE MEDIA DOES NOT HAVE THE POWER, WE DO.....WE HAVE INHERITED THIS WORLD AND ALL THAT IS IN IT. OUR ANCESTORS DID NOT LEAVE US AL THIS INTELLECTUAL KNOWLDEGE FOR NOTHING. WE CANNOT BE DUMBED DOWN BY THE MEDIA. THE MEDIA IS NOT ALL KNOWING. T